Where does all my Time Go?

Much like money, time is elusive to me. I am not sure by the end of the day what I did, how it seemed so squandered away. And, "squandered" seems the appropriate word because by the end of the day, I collapse on the couch and think what did I finish? What have I accomplished? I can honestly say "I don't know."

So, I am recording my time. I am marking what I am doing every second of the day in hopes to see how I spend time. Just like a money diary, a time diary, I hope, will reveal how to find more time. When you record your money and find out you spend $200 a month of coffee, you simply can find a cheaper way to have coffee--or quit drinking coffee. So, I am hoping I can find the "coffee" of my time.

The theory is my exhaustion, feeling of squandered time, stress are all symptoms of poor time management. Simply put: I do not know how to manage my time well.

Sometimes, in an argument, my husband complains he doesn't work enough because I demand that he does things at home. I can walk into other people's homes and they seem at peace, have completed projects and are happy. Chris and I fight about time. Time and Money. So, we need to figure out how to manage it. The goal is at the end of 2010, we'd accomplish simplicity.

The first thing to blame would be that we homeschool, the children do sports and activities and we run around everywhere. I'm getting frustrated because I am not sure how to balance it all. Chris does maybe 2 hours of work at home--he's tracking his time too--and still feels like he doesn't do work enough. It's even more frustrating because somehow in one day I am expected to do these things: cook, organize the children's activities, take the children to their activities, feed the children, clean the house, teach the children, shop, and write (I am often told I am sabotaging my career by not finding the time to do it). Last year, add my job and you had a really crazy schedule. Balancing all of this is extremely difficult. You noticed I have nothing for myself? I have nothing that would equate dating my husband? I have nothing that feels like anything but work. Instead, it seems most of my conversation or experience with Chris is fighting. Our discussions lead to fighting. I honestly wonder: were we always like this? And, then, debate if we should have gotten married if we were this intense.