The Expense of Raising Kids

Many people are amazed when I declare I have 4 kids. The number one question I am asked is, "How can you afford them? They are expensive to raise."

The really cruel people tell my children that if I had less children, they'd be able to do more. In reality, that's questionable. What amazes most people is I often tell them the 4 kids do not cost us a lot of money. For many years, I have exchanged clothes. New clothes were gifted or bought at consignment and garage sales. Many of our children's toys and activities are bought on after-season sales or gifted to them. I bargain shop, plain and simple. I read once an article that stated the following: The average household will spend between $170,000 and $250,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18. Of that, 1320 to 1720 is for clothing in the first eight years. Personally, I find the statistics rather low. (Consumer Expenditure Survey by US Department of Labor) I spend on average $300/year on clothes for my children and many people find that number outstandingly low.

Frugality & debt Free: Netflix

We cancelled cable about 3 years ago as a way to save $40 a month. We go off and on with Netflix but they have upped their fees from $10 for dvds and movie streaming to $8 for each service. If we kept Netflix (which is still a better deal than cable) the way we like it, then we would pay an extra $6 a month. In calculating, that's $72 a year. Not a price I'm willing to pay when we barely use the dvds. Spontaneously, we were in a grocery store and I whipped out my data phone to see if we could get a promo code (I had read about them) from a website. We found insideredbox.com which has free promo codes you can use to get a redbox dvd. The catch? Each promo code can only be used once per credit card. No problem. We are satisfied with free movies and are patient.

In the long run, we will keep the streaming and end up saving $24/year, plus now get the dvd movies we want to see. I personally am challenging myself to spend less and less money on things, but do more and more.

Soccer Deal of the month: As of yesterday, Dicks Sporting Goods , has a deal with umbro soccer goods. If you buy a soccer ball, cleats and shin guards you pay $34.95. But, you also receive $15 toward your next purchase, making your total to $20. The cleats alone cost $19.99 so you basically are buying shoes and getting the ball and shin guards for free!

Couponing

I grew up with helping my mom cut out coupons. She, at times, would take the amount of money she saved and put it physically in a jar for us to see. She saved money for sure. I have been a coupon diva off & on for several years. I was the queen of couponing clothes. I even got a snowsuit for K for 1 cent! Amazed my husband. Then, I discovered consignment shopping & yard sales. There were many yard sales where I could stuff bags of clothing for $3! Okay, I was sold on the art of yard sales because even if I could get a snowsuit for 1 cent, it was after I spent $20! I am also very fortunate that people consider 4 children in my family and have helped us out through the years with handing down clothes to us. I am not a huge clothing person to begin with--and neither are my children--so we often get by on what we are given. I probably spend $200-500/year on shoes & clothes for the children. Recently, I have decided to try couponing a little more voraciously from the Sunday paper. I am posting the amounts I saved and my friends on facebook and laughing about it. Here's posts:

• On March 14: original grocery bill $313 after coupons $260...not bad for going to a regular grocery store.

• March 26th: Grocery bill before coupons: $324.39 Grocery bill after coupons/bonus saving: $181.45...calm, patient cashier: priceless!

• On April 9th: Today's grocery excursion was not as good as the last few...total price before savings: about $326 after savings: $202. I also earned .60/off gas so depending on how low the tank is we will be saving more in gas as well. I tried for the first time printing coupons from my computer....worked well.

I am not an extreme couponer. I am not converting storage under my bed, shelves in my basement or garage or anything else to a full size grocery storage unit. I just simply want to get my bi-monthly grocery bill down to $200/month (I like fresh, organic produce & organic milk, cheese).

I currently stock up on all things that are incredible deals. The item has to be on major sale & have must have a coupon for it. Once the garden is done, we should save on the veggies too. I should be able to have to buy less produce and eat the fruit of our labor.

10 Common Sense things to do to Live on Less

Okay, everyone touts out these great breakthroughs on how to save money. Frankly, I look them all over and say, DUH! DUH! DUH! Of course, I am in debt. So, I don't listen to all of them. I should. Maybe I wouldn't be in debt. Here's the list:

1. COOK! Make your meals at home. Don't buy prepackaged foods. Actually, when we want to eat out we splurge and purchase prepackaged foods as a "fast food". For example, instead of going to a fast food restaurant to buy chicken nuggets and fries, C sets the oven on and runs out to get chicken nuggets and fries at the store. He tosses it in and 20 minutes later we eat! Not bad. Going to a restaurant would take longer.

2. BARTER. We've bartered for things we need: anything from free classes to work on our house. In exchange, we did a favor for someone who needed work we could provide.

3. KEEP INTERNET. I get chills when people tell me they chose cable over Internet. It's just not a smart decision. I have saved more money by having the Internet than not having it. With such Internet sites as hulu.com. and tv.com or on any of the network websites, you can get your television free. I stay linked on certain blogs that update me on coupons and deals. Have you been able to get coupons by watching televisions? Honestly, we thought we'd die without cable, but we are happier.

4. GO GREEN. The upfront cost is steeper, but in the long run you spend less. I am finding it so funny that people who used to make fun of me for being so green are now buying the same items I am.

5. Be PREVENTATIVE. From anywhere to maintaining your car (oil change) to yourself. Keeping your car in tip top shape means less visits to the mechanic. Keeping yourself in tiptop shape means less visits to the doctors. Go to Well Visits & preventative care. For us, preventative care if free. If we end up in the sick waiting room, we end up paying. So, it does pay (so to speak) to keep yourself maintained.

6. SAMPLES! Ask for samples from the doctor. I have saved a ton by having a doctor give me samples.

7. ASPIRE To GARDEN! Grow your own Food. We started a garden! And, while the garden didn't produce very much, friends of ours had gardens that did and were kind to share. I am thinking another great idea is to "Assign" each friend an item to grow in their garden to exchange. We raise chickens too. I am not sure they are worth it yet.

8. VISIT DISCOUNT stores. I shop for my prepackaged snacks at a discount grocery store. I can get organic foods with dented boxes for 50 cents. This week's grocery bill was $129.00 because I just needed to buy fruits and veggies. I splurged on those items.

9. BUDGET. I spend less when I budget. Pay cash for everything. You spend less for that too.

10. RESEARCH and question everything. In about a month, I may look over this list and think: DUH, these aren't the best things out there. I read and research almost everything! I don't jump into quick decisions and as a result I save money.

The Luxury of Frugal

Before trying to get out of debt, I'd find great pleasure in driving a brand-new mini-van. When our cars--all given to us--died, I was itching to go get the Odyssey. "It'll be the best purchase ever. Reliable and it'll last 10 years. Just imagine it!" I dreamily told my husband.
So, we went to buy a new mini-van. Even though both of our cars were given to us free, and in work placed into it money wise would be like buying the car. We didn't think about that. By the way, I have seen the Cadillac still driving around town. It makes me feel stupid.


But being stupid is being normal. Think about it: Are you out of debt? Do you know anyone not in debt? I seriously do know several. But most of my friends whip out their credit cards, charge it, without blinking an eye. Several people I know went bankrupt "because they had no choice" and then went on major vacation soon after. So, debt is normal. Bankruptcy is normal. The people I know who went bankrupt didn't cancel cable, didn't eliminate their cell phone or phone line, trim down eating at restaurants, purchases. No, they just stopped being able to pay the debt their accumulated out of their normal paycheck, felt anxious about the collectors calling and went to the lawyer. As soon as they went bankrupt, they got a new credit card.


Credit card companies aren't stupid. The bankrupted person is actually less risky than someone trying to get out of debt--they can't go bankrupt again.


So when the 2004 Odyssey died, I had to retrain my thoughts to focus on what would be the best way to go. The van was sitting on a lot, broken. According to the dealership, it would cost $5000 to fix. We live in a rural area and a van is needed to go to our activities and work. So, we needed to have something mobile. I found a nice ford explorer for sale on my road to picking up my husband at work. It caught my eye because it had a $700 price tag.


As Dave Ramsey supporters, we knew there was a chance to negotiate if we went and got cash. C went to look over the explorer--it was an eye sore inside, sounded awful, but doable. We checked the vin, other explorers in the price range, and went and purchased the vehicle for $500 cash. The extra $200 will go to repair the truck.


But will the truck last?


We have bought ourselves time. If the truck works for 10 days, we will make the money back by not renting out a vehicle. We will be using this vehicle until we can save the cash to repair the odyssey. The funny thing is that the dealership wanted to buy the car back and put us back into debt. No way. The mini-van is worth $10,000. As Chris says, we'd pay $5000 for a mini-van, used. Why not invest in a new transmission that will last 6 more years?


For now, we have a truck we aren't sure will last 10 days, but will save us money. Of course, the rental could fit all of us in the van. The truck requires strapping a husband to the roof.

What? No credit Card?

You must have an emergency credit card. If your car breaks down, if there is a leaky roof, if you need something that is an emergency you must have a credit card to bail yourself out.

Okay, you have money in the bank?

Then you must have a credit card for the pure sake of a FICO score. It's ultra important to spend a little each month and pay it off at the end so that you are considered a "good creditor".

This is exactly how I was taught. And, I was taught minimally about anything. As a child, I knew that bankruptcy meant you were poor and that credit cards were how you can get yourself out of trouble. My parents made me get a check book alongside my first job as a teen (not as a child...I started working at 9 with a paper route, but I rarely saved money) and taught me how to balance a checkbook.

When I graduated high school, they sat me down and told me to sign on the dotted line for my college student loans. Then assisted me in getting a credit card--which they helped me pay on when they could. This was all so I could build my credit score.

They separated my freshman year, and I was left to figure out college. One option was to go into the military and get a GI BILL like my parents. But instead, I charged my tuition, got more student loans and continued the rest of the way through college.

C fared better than I did. His grandfather gifted him money upon graduation and helped pay off his debt--to which he wasn't very good about paying on. He used his money gift to help me through college, to live off in graduate school and to help pay for our wedding. The rest we charged.


Upon graduation, I learned--astonishingly--I was in $50,000 student loan debt and a few thousand in the credit card debt. No problem. I was a college graduate now. A part of the elite group. I'll get a job and pay it all off.

Neither C nor I could find employment. But we hadn't planned or discussed work. He applied for a few P.H.D programs (one--late) and I guess we assumed he'd get in and I'd find a job then. When he didn't get in, his temporary job's boss found him one. But that fell through. So, we lived off credit and my $8.00/hour job while we figured it all out.

A few weeks later we packed our bags--and moved in with my mom. Yep, elite all right. We were a part of the elite group of kids who moved back in with their parents AFTER college graduation.

Within a week C was hired and we saved to put a down payment on a rental. We moved out 6 weeks after we moved in. We were grown ups now!

Fast-forward through 11 years of marriage and 4 kids later and you get 2 grown-ups with $36,000 in credit card debt, $30,000 in student loans and $155, 000 in mortgage. Yup, we were normal.

We liked being normal. Normal meant eating out, fancy cars, and a fun vacations to Disney World. But, on that Disney vacation we stayed with a friend overnight who mentioned two words that changed our lives: Dave Ramsey. As she discussed being debt-free and how she lived by his rules, we looked around at her house, at her things and saw pure happiness in her life.

When we came home, fighting the whole way home, mind you, we decided normal wasn't working for us anymore. It wasn't fun; especially, when creditors are knocking on your door. So, we signed ourselves up for financial peace.

What is really basic?

As we are simplifying our lives, people are shocked that "with a computer genius intelligent husband I don't have all the latest gadgets". The funny thing is this: despite his interest in the high-tech field, high tech devices cost a lot of money. Money, we simply do not have to spend. The latest model of a cell phone just isn't on our top "value" list. We value so many other things like Experiences, before technology.


The one thing we know we cannot live without is Internet. I know years ago, it was easy. But the Internet is our phone, television, children's school and savings. I have saved more than enough money by the Internet.


Chris has a cell phone. He needs it for work. We're lucky that we don't pay it. However, congress is looking at taxing free work cell phones as income. How ridiculous is that?


Chris absolutely loves Netflix. I can get rid of it and be happy. But, in the end it's $10 a month and once Hulu becomes streamlined into our television, Chris's opinion will change, and I'll have my $120 savings.


We have decided to use skype for our phone line. Since we live a distance away from family, I have a trakphone, and Chris's cell is a work one, the $3.00 monthly skype fee is necessary. My brother uses magicjack. The difference to magic jack is that you have to have your computer on all the time. I am trying to trim down our electricity bill, so it just isn't feasible. Skype has several options.


Things we must have but are trying to trim down: food, mortgage, water & sewer, trash, and electricity. Any suggestions?


Is it possible to live on less than we do currently?