Disappointments

K tried out for soccer. Our rule of thumb is that no matter what you have to try your best and you have to follow through. She chose to give up FRYO (orchestra) for a year so she could commit herself to soccer and learn the sport better. Today, she found out she broke her foot while playing soccer. She also found out she is not on the same team as she was in the spring. Her first reaction was to quit. My first reaction was to let her quit. But, quitting breaks the rules. I asked her when I wrote the check if it was what she wanted.--playing soccer vs orchestra. She wanted to. But not being on the team means not having her friends. I want her to learn not to do things just for friends. Do what you want to do, especially a sport, because you love and want to learn the sport and not because you like certain people.

After clearing my mind, we decided that when the cast comes off, we will practice soccer. We haven't really expected commitment--i.e. passion--from the Alphabet kids. Now, though, we need to start. She doesn't practice anything--soccer, violin, etc. So, now we can learn a hard lesson in the wake of disappointments: we don't quit despite disappointments. The next lesson I'd like her to learn (and I hope it manifests) is just because we don't get what we think we initially want, there may be a chance that what we get it far better and greater. And hard work may get us back to where we want as well.

The way it is decided: The girls try out and based on number scores make the various teams. In the end, she needs to up her game to be on the same team with her friends. If she quits, she won't see these friends (they are only on soccer with her). Plus, she doesn't even have a chance at making their team in the next try-outs (no practice means no skill building). She made a team and will be building skills. As she practices, she's bound to improve and may end up on the same team again.

It's a hard lesson, but a good one.