Toss & 'em, Throw 'em, Save & 'em?

I think my desire to sell my wedding dress and engagement ring has been met by sentimental horrors. First of all, it's been dancing with the dust bunnies in it's neat little acid-free box for ten years. I was dutiful and I kept it. It was THE dress. Once everyone saw me in THIS dress it would be like the moment Prince Charming realized Cinderella was the beautiful belle at the ball who lost her shoe: I would transform in their eyes. People would see me as C sees me. Somehow, aghast, people wouldn't know how to control themselves. And, magically, my life would be great.


As we know, life doesn't give us happily ever afters. We have to make the "happily-evers" for ourselves. People's views didn't change about me; they only changed in front of the audience. It's called a honeymoon phase for a reason. When we came back to reality, we had to face reality.


Instead of being my key to transforming into a Princess, the dress is a reminder of what I cannot have. It's a reminder of my failed happily ever after. I was not magically whisked into a world where everyone understands me.


If I was to redo my wedding, I wouldn't do it the way I did it. I tell my eldest this often. If she wants a wedding, we'll give it to her, but there's ways to have the "dream" and not the expense. We spent $8000 on our wedding. It was a prelude to our stupid ways. We thought "buying" ourselves the fantasy would actually impress enough people to make it our reality. Instead we started on the descent to our stupid tax. Our $8000 wedding probably cost us $15000 when you calculate the debt we created by it. Maybe more.


1. I saw a beautiful dress the other day for $50 in a consignment shop. It was in mint condition and gorgeous. I'd buy a consignment dress.


2. I'd also have the groomsmen wear suits instead of tuxes.


3. Flowers we did well at. I paid $500 total for my flowers and it was without the hassle of doing it myself. Some things are worth the expense of not doing it yourself.


4. We painted pots. I'd not paint pots. I'd figure out something else out.


5. I'd have an outdoors wedding in a backyard, at a state park or somewhere else that costs less than $100.


6. The DJ would be a friend.


7. The photography is important to me. But it's not worth what we got. I'd also choose a friend or invest in a smaller package. Our photographer didn't listen to us. I questioned poses and hated all of the poses we got. I'd discuss what poses I wanted beforehand.


I would not spend more than what I have in cash for my wedding. Plain and simple. I'd still get married but we'd keep it for us. Impressing people isn't worth the debt.